“Daddy can I please be a brain surgeon?” were words a little girl spoke that I knew were specifically meant for me to hear from the Lord, but let’s start at the beginning. This summer has been quite a growing experience for me. If you know me personally, you know my summers are spent at camp or in Michigan or being anywhere but sitting still. Well this summer has been quite different, definitely a “waiting” period of my life. Currently I am searching for a job and trying to discern how to combine the passions in my heart with the Lord’s will for me. Like I said, I believe this a period of testing where the Lord is asking me, “Can you wait and trust that I will provide for you?”
Gracefully, with everyday that I become anxious or consumed with the norm of this world, the Lord speaks with a scripture from the Bible, or in this case, a little girl. All day I was worked up and worried about what is next in my life. I became tired of waiting and decided I would take matters into my own hands – God was taking too long. Long story short, this led to a mental breakdown and a pit of emptiness. All I wanted was to see what’s next already. I didn’t want to see far, only the next few steps. But I knew the Lord wanted to remind me that His way and His plan are far better than anything I could work up.
I decided I would go to Wilson Park, sit in my favorite secluded spot, and talk to the Lord. My friend told me she had gone to a lake one day and wrote down every negative feeling she possessed, and then dug in the bible until she found a scripture that went against it. So that’s exactly what I did.
Feeling anxious – Psalms 46:10 “Be still and know I am God.”
Feeling confused – Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you..”
Feeling frustrated – John 16:33 “In this world you may have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Feeling unworthy – Deuteronomy 14:2 “Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession.”
Over and over again I found the Lord’s truth that bashed my negative thoughts, and I praised him for his words. How easily being thankful can turn your attitude around. He tells us in trials and tribulations, in joy and laughter, in sorrow and despair – to come to Him in thanksgiving. To be thankful for absolutely every blessing He has given me, but most importantly, be thankful for exactly who He is – the peace-giver, the beautiful creator, the rightful judge, and the greatest lover.
Before leaving the park, I asked the Lord to speak to me, to let me hear his voice and to put a peace within my heart. And that’s when they came – a little girl and her dad. He was talking of a man’s profession saying he was a brain surgeon and the little girl was excitedly screaming “Daddy I want to be a brain surgeon. Please can I be a brain surgeon?” How quickly I was able to see myself in that little girl. I’m always asking and dreaming of things that it’s simply just not time for. The Lord tells us he has given us day and night for a reason, to chunk time so we handle no more than we need to. He tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you…” Yet that sufficiency is just enough for today, and then tomorrow it will be renewed again. We may have many plans in our hearts, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail and His plans are far better than our own.
I am joyful that the Lord covers me with grace so I can practice his truth when difficult times arise again. I am thankful that the Lord carries my load and he gives and allows me to see only what I can handle right now. I am grateful that a little girl’s word can remind me that My Father has my plans for me which he will reveal in his beautiful timing (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Take this valuable challenge with me: listen and look for the Lord daily. I am sure he is anxiously waiting to whisper words into our hearts today.