Single and Thriving In Your Twenties

If you would have asked me in ninth grade when I thought I would have been in love {possibly even engaged}, with confidence I would have answered senior year of college. OH SWEET NINTH GRADE HANNAH. But honestly, I can truly say I believed it. Four years of college is plenty of time to fall in love, so I delusionally imagined. But with each passing year of college …and post college… my prince charming has yet to arrive, leaving my junior-high thoughts even more laughable.

It may not be obvious from my current state, but I one day hope to be married. {Promise, I’m not just living the kewl single life for kicks & gigs, though I may seem like I am a rock star at it}. Being single in my late 20s is not what I would have originally dreamt up for myself, and I’ll be honest, a lot of days are hard and really lonely. {I do endorse that the occasional ice-cream binge nights ARE in fact okay!} However with each passing year, I have come to appreciate the fact that this season has a specific purpose designed for myself. I am learning to love the beautiful things about being single in my late 20s, and man there are SO. MANY. beautiful things. I don’t do it perfectly, but I wanted to share a few ways I have discovered to thrive along the way in hopes that it may encourage you to do the same.

Invest in Others, Invest in Yourself

My absolute favorite part of being single is getting to choose where to invest my time. I realize that this is something that a married individual can do as well, but the boundaries in which a single person has in this category are a lot less restricted. Spare time isn’t split between your personal time and time with your significant other.  Instead it can be spent investing in relationships you choose to deepen – whether that is your community group, new gym buddies, a roommate, or all of the above! In the season of singleness, I find freedom in being able to love all people without reservation.  I know there is a large part of my heart that will one day be reserved for my husband, but now I can use my time and resources to be intentional in loving on MANY friends and family.

Not only can I invest richly into others , but I can invest richly into myself. I cannot say it enough, but use this time to get to know yourself better. What makes you the happiest? What do you need to flourish? What skill have you been wanting to learn? What are your dreams?  Embrace this time you have to be selfish and love yourself well. Take the trip with your girlfriends or move to a new city and start-over. Take a step towards your dream and make it a reality. Find a place to serve and give yourself to make a difference for another. We have more free time than we will ever have being single – so let’s not waste it! Invest in people, invest in yourself. And don’t forget to have fun while doing it!

Discover Strength In Your Independence

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To me, singleness is strength, and not going to lie, I identify myself as quite the Rosie the Riveter in this area. There is {good} pride that comes with knowing you can support and manage things yourself whether that is paying your bills, installing your tv mount, changing your flat, or simply screwing the lid off that dang pickle jar. I know this may seem too independent and could scare a few men away {I’ve had a friend tell me that they like to feel needed *NOTED*}, but it is comforting for me to know that I will never be desperate to seek a husband because I need  him to get by in life. He will only be a compliment to my badass self when he comes. So revel in the excitement of singleness and all that you can learn to conquer along the way. And remember, GOOGLE is always your DIY tutorial friend :D

Don’t Compare, Embrace the Difference

It seems like every time I check Instagram, another friend bites {the married} dust. With most of my closest friends being married, I obviously get to hear about the married life A LOT. Plans are shared on upcoming foreign travels with their spouse…, specifics are giggled over when retelling stories on a “sexy” night-in…, and plenty of pictures are sent capturing their little to grandest moments in love together. Let me be clear, I LOVE that my friends have found their husbands. There is nothing sweeter than watching the people I love be so incredibly happy with another. But, I will admit, sometimes I see their photos and listen to their stories, and can’t help but feel sad at the simple fact that they have what I desire.

Comparing ourselves to another is so easy…. and I am constantly  having to remind myself to see the joy in what I have been given. Are most of your friends married? That’s okay! We cannot allow comparison to reduce where we are in our present season or what will happen in our future. Let’s learn to celebrate one another –  without jealousy – so we can sincerely rejoice  when our friends receive incredible blessings. Let’s also learn to celebrate where we are individually,  acknowledging every reward that come with each season of life. As one of my favorites, Jim Elliot, says, “Wherever you are – be all there.  Live to the hilt of every situation you believe to be the will of God.” This time is precious, and my hope is that I will enjoy it fully, as it is a season of life that will not last forever.

When its time, let’s believe we will be a better version of ourselves.

All of the time spent in this season will not pass without gain. I have learned to not rush the process and to trust in the timing that has been chosen for me. My wish is to look back and be so incredibly blown away by all of the adventures taken, new friends made, comfort zones broken, lessons experienced, and memories gained. I hope that one day when I stand by my husband, I will see that this time was used so perfectly to refine me to be a better version of myself for him. So I will not rush this season, but instead will relish the moments of my single days – because, as we have all been told, “He [She] may just be around the corner.”

xx

Han

 

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